new years resolution:

to be where i am.

im sitting in the dark.

sleep has not been my friend the past few days. mainly because my mind is racing with a million and two thoughts.

1] i am so blessed.

2] i am so undeserving.

Dear Friends whom i love ( you know who you are because i've told you so),

i think of you always. though i may not show it or speak it, the depths of my love are....deep [for lack of something poetic].....what im trying to say is: you bless me daily. and for that i am thankful.

im learning to treat you more kindly. you have a beautiful soul and a heart and mind to match. let me not discourage you!

love, Hannah

im not ready to go back. not yet. but i will be! once i've accomplished a few things.

p.s. have i mentioned that i want this one?

gaaaaahhh

so very annoyed/frustrated/other words that describe anger and irritation.

uuuggggghhhh!!!! gggaaaaahhhhh!!

it sucks how the simplest things can ruin hours of wonderful time with Jesus.

.............grrrr.

after christmas

these cameras. i want.

this is holga. she takes nice photos.

this is diana. she also takes nice photos.

walden pond. concord, ma

snoooow snooow snoooow!!!

have i mentioned that it's snowing here in wenham, ma?

well, it is.

joy!

im serious friends, it's like something out of a fairytale.

i mean really?

this is my new friend, ellex, you may remember her from an earlier post. she is so wonderful and we went for a walk around the pond.

i kept telling her that i expected the Snow Queen to just show up everywhere and invite us to her icy castle. which we of course would have accepted. duh.

UGH! and it was the perfect time of day for shooting photos!

it was a splendid way to spend my sunday. absolutely splendid.

a few things

three psalms i encourage you to read today:

Psalm 51 --> keep in mind, David wrote this after he commited sin concerning Bathsheba.

"Restore unto me the joy of Your salvation"

"The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart - these, O God, You will not despise."

Psalm 73 -->probably one of my most favorite because the sturggle of desiring the world and thinking that they have it better eoff then i, as a christian, does, is a very familiar struggle.

"Truly God is good to Israel, to such as are pure in heart"

" Whom have i in heaven but You? and there is non upon earth that i desire besides You. my flesh and my heart fail; but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever."

Psalm 139 --> a classic.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxietied; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

i kinda miss my england. and my england team. if you can't tell. =]

let love be without hypocrisy

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.

philippians 2:1-11

photo schmoto

im starting another blog. well kind of. let me rephrase that. im embarking on a new journey. i am now commited to taking a picture everyday for the month of december. check it out. follow it. enjoy it. la la la! hannahtookapicture.blogspot.com

excuses, excuses.

okay okay okay. i know i havent blogged in like 5493652003044520603601360936 years (maybe that's an exaggeration) and i could come up with a million excuses for that, but to put it simply....i've felt uninteresting. it seems like the discontentment bug has not left me. gah! especially when i read certain other blogs, i get jealous and day dreamy. which is no bueno. so what have i been up to? well, homework is always a given. growing relationships. decorating my room. spending more time in my room. making a christmas present. thinking about the future. you know, the usual. yesterday i decorated my window with tea bags and coffee filters.

here's a shot of them at night.

and the finished product.

so i know the shot is blurry, but o well. and trust me, it looks better in real life. at least i think so. and its a cheap way to decorate. i've been drinking lots of tea lately, and the red and white string that Modern Pastry ties their pastry boxes with added an extra festive touch. thank you Modern Pastry. oh and here's a little taste of the christmas present i mentioned up there. obviously i can't spill all the details...she may be reading!

'twas swonderful talking with you again. and i promise more posts soon. and i especially promise a post when it snows!

p.s. any hints as to how i make my pictures bigger and more beautiful on this here blogspot?

joy!

these people came to visit me. i might cry as i write this. but yes, i was absolutely wonderful! considering that the only taste of home i would have had til christmas was skype, this was an absolutely perfectly pleasant sort-of surprise to have.

it's sort of bittersweet. as i said before, it was absolutely wonderful having them here, but i miss them so much already. and having them here makes me miss home and such so much more. but that's ok. because i know that Jesus is with me. and He has a plan for me. and He punches Satan right in the kneecaps (according to brian). so i'm good....until i have another moment of unfaithfulness.

there's no place like home. there's no place like ANY home.

i had the most wonderful time last night in a home. in a real, warm, lived-in home. it was absolutely wonderful. the director of student ministries here at Gordon is good friends with my dear Tala's family and so she invited Tala and a few friends over for dinner. for the record: i am extremely thankful that Tala invited me. it was absolutely wonderful! Laurie is so sweet and kind. she is my bread group (which is similar to the small group concept) leader so i had already met her before las night, but i did spend some time talking with her after. she has a lovely house complete with wooden floors, fire places, and french doors (the kind thats made out of window panes basically!) and ohhhh it was absolutely wonderful. do you know how much of a treat it is to get off campus, sit on a real couch, and eat a home-cooked meal? it is a delightful treat. and so it was last night. have i told you how absolutely wonderful it was? absolutely wonderful. i wish i had pictures to share, but unfortunately i don't. it would have been rude snapping pictures at the dinner table anyways, but Laurie did open up her home to us and said we are welcome to come over whenever, even if it's just to study or get away from campus. i will take pictures on one of those adventures.

sad face.

i want to be in england right now.

im re-learning the lesson of contentment. recently i've been desiring alot. i've been wanting my husband. i've been wanting a home of my own. i've been wanting long hair. i've been wanting to lose weight. i've been wanting a beautiful singing voice. i've been wanting to be everyones functional savior. i've been wanting to be back England, meeting new people and making new friends. ive been wanting to grow up. i've been wanting to be a mother. i've been wanting so many things. so many things that God obviously doesn't have for me. so what do i do with these desires? how do i get to that state that paul speaks of in phillipians, to be in content in whatever state i am in?

photocred: papertissue

Jesus, Savior pilot me.

did i mention that it's fall?

something thats been hitting me:

i am not my own. my life is not my own.

i belong to Jesus Christ. i am here to glorify HIM.

everything i do should be done in glorification of my Savior. the way i dress, the way i speak, the way i interact, the way i treat others, the way i react, the way i love. EVERYTHING should be done in glorification of my Savior.

because i am not my own. my life has been bought at a price. my walk is not about me. my relationship with Christ is not about me. it is about HIM.

and that's how everything should be. about Him. schoolwork, relationships, work, service, sports, music, writing, reading, creating, painting, photographing.

everything. everything belongs to Him. everything should be done in glorification of Him.

"Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

1 corinthians 6:19-20

it's long, but take the time to read it. please.

6"And when I passed by you and saw you wallowing in your blood, I said to you in your blood, 'Live!' I said to you in your blood, 'Live!' 7 I made you flourish like a plant of the field. And you grew up and became tall and arrived at full adornment. Your breasts were formed, and your hair had grown; yet you were naked and bare.

8"When I passed by you again and saw you, behold, you were at the age for love, and I spread the corner of my garment over you and covered your nakedness; I made my vow to you and entered into a covenant with you, declares the Lord GOD, and you became mine. 9Then I bathed you with water and washed off your blood from you and anointed you with oil. 10 I clothed you also with embroidered cloth and shod you with fine leather. I wrapped you in fine linen and covered you with silk. 11 And I adorned you with ornaments and put bracelets on your wrists and a chain on your neck. 12And I put a ring on your nose and earrings in your ears and a beautiful crown on your head. 13Thus you were adorned with gold and silver, and your clothing was of fine linen and silk and embroidered cloth. You ate fine flour and honey and oil. You grew exceedingly beautiful and advanced to royalty. 14And your renown went forth among the nations because of your beauty, for it was perfect through the splendor that I had bestowed on you, declares the Lord GOD.

15(V) "But you trusted in your beauty and played the whore because of your renown and lavished your whorings on any passerby; your beauty became his. 16You took some of your garments and made for yourself colorful shrines, and on them played the whore. The like has never been, nor ever shall be. 17You also took your beautiful jewels of my gold and of my silver, which I had given you, and made for yourself images of men, and with them played the whore. 18And you took your embroidered garments to cover them, and set my oil and my incense before them. 19 Also my bread that I gave you— I fed you with fine flour and oil and honey—you set before them for a pleasing aroma; and so it was, declares the Lord GOD. 2 And you took your sons and your daughters, whom you had borne to me, and these you sacrificed to them to be devoured. Were your whorings so small a matter 21that you slaughtered my children and delivered them up as an offering by fire to them? 22And in all your abominations and your whorings you did not remember the days of your youth, when you were naked and bare, wallowing in your blood.

23"And after all your wickedness (woe, woe to you! declares the Lord GOD), 24you built yourself a vaulted chamber and made yourself a lofty place in every square. 25At the head of every street you built your lofty place and made your beauty an abomination, offering yourself to any passerby and multiplying your whoring. 26 You also played the whore with the Egyptians, your lustful neighbors, multiplying your whoring, to provoke me to anger. 27Behold, therefore, I stretched out my hand against you and diminished your allotted portion and delivered you to the greed of your enemies, the daughters of the Philistines, who were ashamed of your lewd behavior. 28 You played the whore also with the Assyrians, because you were not satisfied; yes, you played the whore with them, and still you were not satisfied. 29You multiplied your whoring also with the trading land of Chaldea, and even with this you were not satisfied.

30"How sick is your heart, declares the Lord GOD, because you did all these things, the deeds of a brazen prostitute, 31building your vaulted chamber at the head of every street, and making your lofty place in every square. Yet you were not like a prostitute, because you scorned payment. 32Adulterous wife, who receives strangers instead of her husband! 33Men give gifts to all prostitutes, but you gave your gifts to all your lovers, bribing them to come to you from every side with your whorings. 34So you were different from other women in your whorings. No one solicited you to play the whore, and you gave payment, while no payment was given to you; therefore you were different.....

9"For thus says the Lord GOD: I will deal with you as you have done, you who have despised the oath in breaking the covenant, 60yet I will remember my covenant with you in the days of your youth, and I will establish for you an everlasting covenant. 61 Then you will remember your ways and be ashamed when you take your sisters, both your elder and your younger, and I give them to you as daughters, but not on account of the covenant with you. 62I will establish my covenant with you, and you shall know that I am the LORD, 63that you may remember and be confounded, and never open your mouth again because of your shame, when I atone for you for all that you have done, declares the Lord GOD."

autumn

The morns are meeker than they were,

The nuts are getting brown;
The berry's cheek is plumper,
The rose is out of town.

The maple wears a gayer scarf,
The field a scarlet gown.
Lest I should be old-fashioned,
I'll put a trinket on.

-miss emily dickinson

oh so indie...indiana that is

Friends! meet

Alexandra.

affectionately called "alex".

1) she has the sweetest heart EVER.

2) she is so compassionate and so wiling to do anything for others.

3) her Jesus is her strong tower.

4) she is sensitive and open. two wonderful characteristics, rare in people these days.

5)she has the cutest bangs!

alexandra, i love you with my whole heart.

you drive us around everywhere, and for that we have wonderful, magical adventures.

LOVE.

lots and lots of it.

inspired by a tree.

dear friends, i'd like to take this time to tell you of my recent encounter with God.

it's breezy outside. no. windy. windy is a better term. it's windy outside.

and right now is my favorite time of day. 5ish. this is when the light is most beautiful in the world. not only is it the perfect time for b&w photos, its the perfect time to slow down and see the beauty of God. i can't even describe to you the overwhelming feeling thats welling up in my chest as i write. i have never seen an autumn so beautiful. i have never seen a light so beautiful. i am so overwhelmed with emotion in this moment. can i even begin to describe to you how wonderful He is? no. my words will not suffice. cannot suffice. i am so unworthy to even speak His name. but i can't help it. i want to run. to run through the meadow surrounded by auburn adorned trees and shout His name.

YHWH!

Jesus! Love! You are beautiful. You are marvelous. i am so unworthy to be loved by You! YHWH! Beautiful One, All-Sufficient One, my Jehovah Jirah.

inspired by a tree. inspired by the light. inspired by His majesty, by His handiwork.

oh Beautiful, Beautiful Savior.

"beautiful" cannot describe You. Your beauty is far more than anything i can imagine. i will cry.

*unfortunately the photos are not mine (as made evident by the copyright). i wish i could post my own but i haven't had the time to take my own photos of the beauty that surrounds me. this will have to do for now. all photos from gettyimages.

this is

tomas.

say it with a hispanic accent.

1) oh my goodness, how he loves Jesus.

2) he rides his fixed gear with me.

3)he is clothed in humility. a rare trait for someone of his age/knowledge.

4)he listens when i dont make sense and helped me through my biggest breakdown yet.

5)he shares music/camera/life with me.

we are friends.

and i love my brother in Christ. sooo thankful for him.

wonderfulness: there are too many extra things to say about him.

p.s. he's from california too. represent!

oooooooooooh

mandie.

what a beut.

1) one of my very first very good friends here.

2)she makes me laugh. we laugh together.

3) she lets me borrow her awesome shoes, sweaters, scarves, socks, and basically any other article of clothing that starts with an s.

4)she LOVES Jesus. and worship, oh how she loves to worship her Savior.

5)she doesnt mind me yelling at her window. or getting dinner with me right when Lane opens.

i love this girl. i really really do.

mandie, why do you have to be so wonderful?

i just really really love you.

the South African Canadian

dear friends, this is

Tala. lalala.

where to start?

1)she loves her Jesus. in every sense of the word.

2)she has the most INCREDIBLE voice. like you wouldn't believe.

3)her mind is a wonderful mystery.

4)she is the very essence of encouragement and a serious prayer warrior.

5)she has the best clothes. i always wish i could swap outfits with her.

oh tala. how i love you.

and better yet, one day im going to canada with her. because she has an awesome life.

Brian McNeilly.

he doesn't even need an introduction.

1)he has a rare passion for Jesus.

2)he speaks his mind. always. which can sometimes be a bad thing haha. but definitely a trait i admire.

3)he fights so that i can live a free, comfortable life. at least he will be soon.

4)he genuinely doesn't care what people think about him.

5) he ALWAYS cheers me up. can and will forever.

i know that i can always look to him if im in the mood for a good punk/hardcore/jars of clay song and never be led astray.

i lovelovelove my brother in Christ. he's my buddy.

oh and something that makes him even more cool:

he's from California.

one dress, one month

Anti-Consumerism, Anti-Conformity, Pro-Creativity, Pro-Simplicity

read more about it here

The Dress Project.

Pray. Please Pray.

L to the X

everyone, this is

Ellex.

i love her very very much.

1) she is simple and quirky.

2) she has the most beautiful blue eyes.

3) she is the most fun to take pictures of.

5) she loves Jesus oober much and shares my heart and its struggles in many many ways.

together we are learning about what it means to be still before God and know that He is God. we run together and witness His beautiful creation.

oh how i love Ellex.

p.s. ive decided to blog about my friends. one per blog.

untitled.

i feel like my posts have been rather shallow lately. let me fix that.

have i told you lately how wonderful God is? i have been blessed with the absolute best group of friends. i am surrounded by lovers of God who come from all different walks yet share the same heart in seeking the beautiful face of my Savior. do you know what we did this weekend? we watched the sunrise at singing beach. there's nothing like a sunrise to take your breath away. how can anyone sit there and witness the colors change in the sky as the stars slowly fade away while the waves brush up on the beach and not attribute that magnificent occurrence to the Creator. gaahh.

it was beautiful. God is beautiful.

fallalalalalaaaaa

i have decided to document the changing of the leaves. For this, I am using the tree that grows outside of my window.

Look! it's already happening!

and here are a couple more photos of the beginning of fall:

autumn smells really wonderful too. so i've been told. when i notice the change, i will definitely describe it to you.