my God, He is gentle

"He makes me to lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside the still waters.
He restores my soul;
He leads me in the paths of righteousness
For His name's sake"

It's been a difficult past few months. Some days have been dark and filled mostly with heartache and questioning. And as today has been an extremely emotional day, i am overwhelmed at the realization that my God is gentle.
Throughout this whole mess, He has been there.
Guiding, loving, holding, teaching.
It's been a while since I've opened my Bible just to read His words, yet i know He understands. for the first time in my life, i don't feel as if He is angry with me for neglecting to read.
And it's beautiful, because while i've been questioning His very existence, it's as if He's been holding my hand through the whole thing.
at the same time of my uncertainty, i am so certain that He is.
so very aware of His presence.
Like a mother who gently brushes her daughter's hair as she weeps,
so it has been.

how can i describe to you the love of the Father?
gaze upon the cross,
upon the tree
where He willingly gave up His life
and cried to the Father, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do!"
as we questioned, and mocked.
what love is this?
oh, if only you could feel what i feel in this moment.
my God, He is gentle
He is understanding
He is loving
He is sovereign
He is kind
He is.